More on Listening

“One of the best ways to persuade others is with your ears.” Dean Rusk

People feeling significant and listening are inseparable. Listening and acting on the needs of others propels your career aspirations.

Listening is difficult. For one, the mind thinks twice as fast as a person speaks! Two, distractions are the norm in a 24/7 world filled with gadgets.

For effective listening:

• Be present. My trick is to silently repeat to myself what the speaker is saying as they say it.

• Allow others to complete their thought before speaking. Unfortunately, I have on more than one occasion solved the wrong issue by interrupting and attempting to solve the problem too quickly.

• Be aware of their tone and what is not being said by their body language.

• Asking questions and seeking clarification is critical, too.

What two actions can you take to become a better listener and win people’s hearts and minds? I know that the first two actions I took on the path of becoming a more effective listener were: one, stop interrupting and two, listening more than I speaking.

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Everybody Wants to Feel Significant

Just like everyone wants to feel important (earlier blog); we all want to feel significant, special. People genius begins and ends with this reality.

To help fulfill the underlying needs of feeling significant consider:

• Showing respect by exhibiting common courtesy which includes acknowledging their presence.

• Taking the initiative to get their input and provide constructive and positive feedback.

• Giving thanks and appreciation for their unique contribution. Acknowledge they matter.

In your presence, do people feel like super stars or lowly mullets?

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Hot Buttons and Triggers

Exhibiting people smarts 24/7 can be a challenge. There will be people and situations that trigger our hot buttons.

In these situations, breathe. Count to 10 or a hundred ten. The moment you lose control, is the moment your credibility index plummets. The following actions can bring clarity and composure.

• Assume good intent until proven otherwise.

• Seek clarification non-defensively.

• Refuse to take everything personally.

• Recognize everybody is doing the best they know how in that moment or they would handle it differently – including you being triggered.

• Identify what specifically triggered your intense reaction.

When I am triggered today, I smile internally and remember: it is all just tweaking.

© 2013. All rights reserved worldwide.