Thank You Day

Thank you for reading my blog. Thank you God for the gift of life. Thank you God for shelter and food.Thank you sun for shining.

Yeah, I have eyes that can see. I have a heart of love. Thank you that I can hear the birds sing.

Thank you for my demanding clients, they make me stronger and wiser.

Thank you for my friends who love me through my escapades.

I feel great. Try the exercise and enjoy the day!

You might consider talking to each of your staff members and telling them what you are thankful for in them.

Leaders encourage the heart with gratitude and make a stronger, more resilient culture.

Power

Happy Thursday!

Power. You have your own. You need not borrow it or take it from another.

True power comes in living authentically -- being you!

Dare to be you in a world who wants you to be someone -- anyone -- but you.

Leadership begins within with you -- harness your power.

Go to www.DaretobeGreater.com to break the code.

Toying with Others

Funny how my mind works. It's Christmas, the season of gift giving and toys.

I thought to myself, "How do others toy with my emotions?" Is it by not calling on time, or not following through on a commitment or... The result on me can range from a who cares attitude to devastation based on the person and perceived "toying."

Then I considered that I at times toy with other people's feelings? Not really a happy thought for me. Is it unintentional or am I baiting them?  

Regardless, toying has the tendency to destroy trust.

Is toying worth losing the friendship or a partnership and your credibility? What do you think? How do you toy with others? Is it purely simply fun? Is it exciting? Would love to know your thoughts.

Stifling Your Spirit?

Ways I stifle my spirit include:

Seeking external validation and or approval,
Anger,
Not enough syndrome ranging from I haven't done enough to promote my book to I am not enough,
Playing small so someone else can feel big

How and why do you stifle who you are -- your spirit?

To freedom.  Be a spirited leader. The world needs you!!

Step into YOUR Power

I love the holidays. Always a time of learning and gaining wisdom -- of learning to love and not going on an emotional roller coaster of emotions.

I declare you are far more powerful than you imagine. I declare that you can live the life you want. Better choices, better life. Plain and simple.

There is no them.

Make your foundation strong -- live by values, not the norms of society.

The rest of your life can be the best of your life. Be a spirited leader!

We need you more than ever!

Gratefulness

I love Thanksgiving celebrating in the US because it reminds me to be thankful! I have shelter -- lovely in fact. I have work that I love -- yay! I have a great nephew, wonderful friends and more. I am healthy -- yay! I am grateful I am not a turkey.

I remember the days when my issues had issues -- my life full of drama. Today I only have a few issues -- laughing -- and much less drama. Better choices better life.

I am grateful my third book is published. The 52 Ways helped me go from drama and self-condemnation  to more peace and self-acceptance. I am grateful

What are you grateful for?

Blessings to you and yours!

You Have Nothing to Prove

Promise. Just be you.... Your best you. If  you have a bad day, no worries, just learnings as to your triggers that need to go bye-bye. There is a difference between proving you can overcome a challenge and proving you have worth. 

Which drives you? 

Thought you might find this blog interesting, gives you insight into me and why I was compelled to author the third edition of my 1998 ground breaking best seller.

http://www.seattlepi.com/lifestyle/blogcritics/article/Interview-with-Ellen-Castro-author-of-Spirited-4994674.php

Sending a big hug.

Preseverance!

Happy Tuesday! Do things at times seems like a battle? A constant uphill climb?

All I can say is hang in there!

It has been quite interesting publishing the third edition of my 1998 groundbreaking book. I had to share my insights and wisdom gained over the years to give us hope and courage to live a life of excellence and self-expression regardless of external forces -- to live from our greatness and potential, not our fears.

I say "us" on purpose -- I write what I most have to learn.

Get the book today at www.daretobegreater.com. The 52 ways have been a life changer for me and I know they can be for you. Live empowered! Live energized!

Passion!

Happy Thursday! I've been so passionately involved with my coaching, television appearance, panel discussion, book launch etc., time got away.

I've had 3 epiphanies.

1. Passion gives you courage. My TV appearance was on Unimas. I had a great time going for it even though my Spanish is a bit rough. I got lost and involved in the message, not in being self-conscious.

2. With my passion, the interviewer felt my energy, calling and the interview was interactive. We had an interesting conversation, laughed and carried on. We've already been in touch!

3. Passion is the competitive advantage because there is no competition when you are living your passion. You are being you!

Live your passion and be energized!

Stuck?

Hi! Just back from San Antonio to attend nephew's kick-off campaign. Very interesting!

While there my iphone would not charge. In fact, the charger no longer fit no matter how hard I tried. Went to AT&T and they told me I needed to go to Apple store. Something was stuck in the port that kept it from charging. Got to Apple, told them my dilemma. Fixed in 5 seconds by removing debris. I did the happy dance, the guy laughed.

The morale behind this story -- what debris is keeping you stuck and uncharge-able?

Live unstuck and unlimited -- charged up! www.daretobegreater.com

What is Your Brand?

Happy Tuesday! Just back from a coaching assignment in Silicon Valley.

2 insights I want to share:

1. Everything is a coaching moment. Be constructive and positive.

2. Know your brand -- what you want to be known for, the reputation you want.

When I asked that question about one of the senior leaders, the people being interviewed had no clue.

If you do not know where or how to start, go to daretobegreater.com and buy the book. It gives a blueprint for branding and more!

Energy Vampires -- Are you one?

Happy Halloween! Hoping only treats today!

There are lots of energy vampires today. Please don't be one. Read more by following the link below:

http://bncontact.nimbleworldwide.com/private/qo8zcrsoyq/Kcp/EzUNgVS/browse/19747671

As a point of reference, everything you do either gives energy or depletes it! There are no neutral actions. Live consciously to live well.

Rejoice!

Hurray for us! Today is a brand new God-made day. I get to choose again. I get to have more fun. I get to let go the painful memories and live my life free. No one holds me or you hostage but our thoughts. Think good. Think great. Think extraordinary. It is all good. Where you are is exactly where you need to be.

Have an awesome, joy-filled day! Smile at your co-workers, smile at everyone. Your smile is unique.

I am smiling my book is on Amazon and B&N. Go to www.daretobegreater.com to learn more and buy. The 52 Ways are a game changer -- the advantage. I am living proof!

Give Hope

Happy Thursday! Hope this finds you smiling. Last night I was at an event, a lady walked up to me. We ended up chatting. She is running for the School Board to make a difference. I could tell it had been rough lately.

I looked her in the eyes and said, "I believe in you. You can do this."

Those simple words had a profound effect.

Whose dreams can you energize? Whose eyes can you look in and say those words? If you need the encouragement, go to a mirror and say to you.

I did this morning for me. Having a book published can be a trip. I felt better.

Everyone needs their dreams encouraged.

I believe in you!

Why? I know if you are reading this you are trying to live a greater life.

That's why I wrote my book -- so we can live greater, freer.

Kindness Challenge

Hello! Kindness works wonders. Join me on a kindness challenge -- for the next week be kind regardless of the circumstances. Be kind for kindness sake to everyone.

Please let me know how it works out for you.

I started Monday with that intent and have stuck to it. I feel happier. Life is easier.

Good luck!

Radical Thanks!

Make today your best ever. Give thanks for everything! The activity of thanks energizes and inspires. 

Be the blessing!

To get the best life ever, go to www.DaretobeGreater.com.

 

© 2013. All rights reserved worldwide.

 

 

 

Stuck?

Feeling stuck? It happens to everyone. Last week I felt stuck and overwhelmed. Not a happy feeling, feeling powerless. I kept plugging away and nothing happened. This week I decided to change my attitude. I am now thinking everything is perfect. Life can’t be pushed. 

For some of you, you could feel stuck in a job you do not like, but worry you will not find another job. For some, you could feel stuck in a toxic relationship. 

What is my point, we are far more powerful than we know. And perhaps by changing your attitude, everything changes. 

Attitude counts.  

If you want a shift in attitude, keep reading my blogs – laughing :). If you want a roadmap to living your best life ever, then go to www.DaretobeGreater.com and buy my book. The 52 Ways will propel you forward with a positive can-do attitude. I promise you -- you can live an amazing life if you choose!  

© 2013. All rights reserved worldwide.

 

 

Get Ignited! 

As your Chief Energizing Officer, melt some stress away by saying these out loud with gusto. 

Today is my day! 

Everything great happens to me. 

I am a magnet for only the good. 

Opportunities are chasing me down. 

My life just gets better and better!

 

© 2013. All rights reserved worldwide.

People See Things Differently

 

A common cause for communication mishaps is when people don’t check in as to what the other person is seeing or hearing.

 

This is a perfect example of a mismatch. I was talking to a college friend on the beach and said, “Aren’t seagulls lovely?” Toby’s reply, “They are just flying rats.” 

Huh? 

Lesson, you never know another person’s frame of reference. If communications are going off track, check-in and clarify. 

 

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We Create Our Reality

 

I often smile at that reality.  

What am I creating in this moment? Am I smiling? Or frowning? Am I excited about the future or grimacing?  

Every thought counts. Every thought creates a reaction. Reactions and emotions impact our reality. 

I mentioned in a previous blog that I use to dread my life. Amazing how easy it is to go back to old patterns.

Stay conscious and create the reality you do want. 

You are far more powerful than you imagine.

 

© 2013. All rights reserved worldwide.

 

Quick Energizers 

Listen to your favorite song. 

Think of someone you love. 

Give thanks for something.  

Change your thoughts to change you world!

 

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You’ve Got the Power!

 

Never give up on yourself.

 

You are far more powerful than you imagine.

 

In these stressful and intense times, there are times when I even feel like giving up. Not good as a Chief Energizing Officer. Yikes.

 

Then I remember this is all temporary. Perhaps it is just time to let go and trust -- this is a friendly universe.

 

Enjoy the ride! It’s all good. 

© 2013. All rights reserved worldwide.

 

 

 

 

 

Ready for Some Energizing! 

As your Chief Energizing Officer… 

Think big. You can do it! 

Take one step towards your aspirations, you are on fire! 

You will be prospered. 

You are equipped. 

You are prepared!

 

© 2013. All rights reserved worldwide.

 

 

Every Choice Counts 

Your choices define you -- not your DNA, past or environment. This is huge.

 

We got the power! 

I was going to a campus counselor at Harvard since my depression had been exasperated with the overwhelming fear of competing with the brightest and best. Me? With a failed career and a failed marriage? 

As I was sobbing at the second session, my counselor looked me in the eyes and said, “So Ellen, you are allowing a raging, emotionally abusive alcoholic father to define you. Now that is crazy.” 

Who or what is defining you?  

Who or what is defining the potential and future for your organization? 

© 2013. All rights reserved worldwide.

 

 

 

 

The Universe is Friendly

 

This thought can be a game changer! It was for me as you will read. 

During The Dynamics between Religion and Psychology graduate class, we were discussing Carl Jung’s work. The professor said something that made my brain re-sort. He said foundational to Carl Jung’s work was the thought that the universe was so friendly that you got to do life till you got it right. The universe was so merciful it gave us countless do-overs.  

Before that moment of whoo-hoo, I thought life was to be endured at best, God was mad at me, and no matter what, I was doomed to go South – very South. That simple statement gave me hope. Mistakes are okay. I am not flawed inherently. There are no failures, only learnings. I eventually win! 

Do you think the universe is friendly? Mistakes okay? Always a new beginning? A re-start? 

On an organizational level, is your culture employee-friendly or hellish?  

I truly believe everything eventually works out for good – everything!

 

© 2013. All rights reserved worldwide.

 

 

 

 

Did you know?

 

I know I posted recently on this, just seems fear is running wild. Information is power. You have the power!

 

We are born with only two fears.

 

In the Evolving Self class at Harvard, a professor indicated there were several research studies concluding that human infants are born with only two fears:

 

• Fear of falling. 

• Fear of loud noises. 

All other fears are man-made and self-imposed. For me, that meant that my fear of failure, my fear of rejection, my fear of success, my fear of being unlovable, my fear of abandonment and countless other fears were made-up. It was time to delve into the fears, the conscious and unconscious beliefs and the causation.

 

What man-made fears are holding you hostage? Are the fears and obstacles real or a figment of your imagination based on your history?

 

What fears are holding your organization back from being innovative and soaring past the competition? If real, what is the game plan to turn fear into a force for good?

 

Realize any fear you are willing to meet head on loses its hold – promise! 

 

© 2013. All rights reserved worldwide.

 

Get Energized!

 

These intense and stressful times have affected everyone I know. As your Chief Energizing Officer, I’ve decided that for now, every 4^th blog will simply be energizing. I want to ignite your spirit. Here we go!

 

Today is going to be your best day ever!

 

The promotion you wanted is here.

 

Your smile engages the heart of those who get to see it.

 

Your mere presence makes people want to be their best selves.

 

Collaboration is skyrocketing!

 

Have a great day!

 

© 2013. All rights reserved worldwide.

 

People and Change

 

People change for three reasons. The pain is too great. The pleasure is oh-so-wonderful or they have an epiphany. An epiphany is an a-ha moment that shifts your thinking, your perspective and alters your life. For instance, you think your life is secure and stable, and then you get laid off. You think you are invincible, and then are diagnosed with a life-threatening illness.  

What I have found is that the pleasure reason is the most fun! Once upon a time I had health issues that necessitated a change in my eating habits. At first I was resistant and angry, “Why me?” After I started feeling better and off medication, I realized I liked the results, and now eating healthy is a pleasure.  

Which reason tends to drive most of your changes? 

 

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Elvis and People Smarts

“Everybody comes from the same source. If you hate another human being, you’re hating part of yourself.”  Elvis Presley

God bless Elvis.

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Encouragement – Who Needs It?

Everyone needs encouragement -- from the claims processor to the engineer to the student to the executive.

It is the kind and simple gesture that leave a lasting positive impression and a legacy.

© 2013. All rights reserved worldwide.

What’s Holding Your Hostage?

No one can hold you hostage but your own thoughts. No one or situation can hold you hostage without your permission.

Did you know we are born with only two fears? The two fears are: fear of falling and fear of loud noises. The rest are man-made.

Who or what is holding you hostage?

© 2013. All rights reserved worldwide.

Greed and People Smarts

“Money does not make me. I make it.” Marcus, Self-described Terminix Bug Man

From my observations as a coach and consultant on three continents, it seems impossible to have authentic people smarts and a heart of service when driven by greed.

We all know greedy people. What would you say is their people smarts quotient on a scale of one to seven, with seven being high? How many would you say touched your heart in a good way?

What I know for sure, I would do anything in my power to help Marcus.

Would others do that for you?

© 2013. All rights reserved worldwide.

More on Listening

“One of the best ways to persuade others is with your ears.” Dean Rusk

People feeling significant and listening are inseparable. Listening and acting on the needs of others propels your career aspirations.

Listening is difficult. For one, the mind thinks twice as fast as a person speaks! Two, distractions are the norm in a 24/7 world filled with gadgets.

For effective listening:

• Be present. My trick is to silently repeat to myself what the speaker is saying as they say it.

• Allow others to complete their thought before speaking. Unfortunately, I have on more than one occasion solved the wrong issue by interrupting and attempting to solve the problem too quickly.

• Be aware of their tone and what is not being said by their body language.

• Asking questions and seeking clarification is critical, too.

What two actions can you take to become a better listener and win people’s hearts and minds? I know that the first two actions I took on the path of becoming a more effective listener were: one, stop interrupting and two, listening more than I speaking.

© 2013. All rights reserved worldwide.

Everybody Wants to Feel Significant

Just like everyone wants to feel important (earlier blog); we all want to feel significant, special. People genius begins and ends with this reality.

To help fulfill the underlying needs of feeling significant consider:

• Showing respect by exhibiting common courtesy which includes acknowledging their presence.

• Taking the initiative to get their input and provide constructive and positive feedback.

• Giving thanks and appreciation for their unique contribution. Acknowledge they matter.

In your presence, do people feel like super stars or lowly mullets?

© 2013. All rights reserved worldwide.

Hot Buttons and Triggers

Exhibiting people smarts 24/7 can be a challenge. There will be people and situations that trigger our hot buttons.

In these situations, breathe. Count to 10 or a hundred ten. The moment you lose control, is the moment your credibility index plummets. The following actions can bring clarity and composure.

• Assume good intent until proven otherwise.

• Seek clarification non-defensively.

• Refuse to take everything personally.

• Recognize everybody is doing the best they know how in that moment or they would handle it differently – including you being triggered.

• Identify what specifically triggered your intense reaction.

When I am triggered today, I smile internally and remember: it is all just tweaking.

© 2013. All rights reserved worldwide.

Energizer Bunny or Human Drano?

I can’t seem to stop writing about people smarts, probably because it is my passion. I teach what I most have to learn. The quality of our life depends on how people feel in your presence. Motivated and inspired or discouraged and drained?

People feel more motivated and engaged when:

• We know their name.

• We acknowledge their presence such as a nod and a genuine smile.

• We make mental notes of interests and hobbies for the next time we connect to show we actually listened and cared.

Are you the energizer bunny or the human drano?

Being the energizing bunny has given me a better quality of life and more joy.

© 2013. All rights reserved worldwide.

Engaging the Mind and the Heart Basics

People smarts would be easy if it weren’t for the people. People smarts is not complicated. By engaging your mind and heart, you engage others’ minds and hearts.

Actions that reap rewards include:

• Be nice to everyone, it is a small world.

• Do what is honest and right consistently, even when no one is looking. Truth is someone is always looking.

• Give credit and sincere praise.

• Be a solution finder. Blame never earned respect or brownie points.

• Follow-through on your commitments. If by chance you cannot make your commitment, give an early heads-up, an apology and tell them what you can do.

Be engaging!

© 2013. All rights reserved worldwide.

Be Greater with Feedback

I learn, grow and am stronger with feedback.

I finally came to the AHA that receiving all types of feedback are gifts, regardless of how it might feel at the moment. Sure, I am the first to admit it is heart-warming to receive encouragement and praise for a job well done. And constructive feedback is great, too, because it helps me change my behavior. And while criticism sucks, it is a powerful valuable source of information.

Information is power.

These are my secrets for keeping my cool when being criticized.

• Breathe. Count to 10 then breathe some more.

• Listen without making excuses or becoming defensive.

• Summarize what I’ve heard.

• Share my thoughts and feelings about the feedback. Discuss as appropriate.

• Say “thanks.”

There is usually at least a grain of truth amidst the criticism. I make the appropriate changes.

Because others sense they can give me feedback without invoking a strong negative reaction, I am greater.

© 2013. All rights reserved worldwide.

Communications and Consequences

“Everybody, sooner or later, sits down to a banquet of consequences.” Robert Louis Stevenson 

You reap what you sow -- always. People genius individuals know that everything communicates. Everything matters. The words, the tone, the body language and the intent, all count. 

Every communication triggers an emotional reaction. The emotions and feelings others have towards us impact our ability to motivate, engage, influence and succeed. The emotional noise based on our perceived actions lurks in the background.

A quick and easy reality test for the emotions we have provoked is whether people smile or grimace when we approach or call, if they return emails on a timely basis. You might remember these thoughts from other blogs. It is worth repeating since it is that critical to your success.

Are your communications triggering enthusiasm, open-ness, commitment and trust? Or do they illicit anxiety, self-protection, apathy and fear?

The choice is yours.

© 2013. All rights reserved worldwide.

Who’s on Your Team?

Rarely has greatness been accomplished alone. Think about it.

The Wright Brothers needed each other and a cadre of others to make their dreams come true. Their dream coming true eventually resulted in the first man walking on the moon. Thank you, Wright Brothers!

I find it interesting when people profess they are self-made millionaires. I often wonder who gave them their first break. Who was helping in the background? Was it the loan officer who was willing to take a risk? The grocer who had food on the shelves?

Truth is, even the self-employed are on a team. The team includes their clients, the suppliers, the contractors and countless others.

Who is on your “team”?

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Listening

“Nature has given humanity one tongue, but two ears, that we may hear from others twice as much as we speak.”  Epictetus

I love this one! It is always a great reminder for me. I can get so wrapped up in having the answers and solutions, I forget to listen. Every situation is different, unique.

I do much better when I slow down and learn someone’s frame of reference and motivation. When I engage based on their specific situation, needs and outcomes.

Be a great coach and mentor. Listen more, talk less.

© 2013. All rights reserved worldwide.

Be Your Message

Actions speak louder than words. Live your message, instead of preaching it.

Everything you do communicates.

Everything matters.

© 2013. All rights reserved worldwide.

Meaning is in People

I believe the above statement is what makes communications so fascinating and fun. As a global coach and consultant, I’ve observed that what I say to one person can trigger a totally different reaction in another person. It is the meaning people give to the words.

Let me share a personal example. When a person uses the word “aggressive” to describe me, I have to take a deep long breath. For me, “aggressive” means success at all costs. “Aggressive” was the word that once described me when I was fighting to survive in the oil industry in the ‘70s. Not a happy memory for me, and not who I am today. Use the word “assertive” and I beam.

How would you know that “aggressive” was a hot button for me? You probably would not.

Take the time to observe people’s reaction and response to your communications to understand if the intent of your communications are matching the impact of the communications.

© 2013. All rights reserved worldwide.

You Create Your Reality

Please be aware the next few meetings you attend. In general, do people smile or grimace when they see you? Are they engaged by what you are saying or rolling their eyes?

Please begin to notice the reaction when you make a call. When he hears your voice does he sound happy and energized? Or do you sense dread and impatience?

Do you like your reality? Good for you. Atta-person!

If you don’t particularly like your lot in life, perhaps it is time to get feedback and make some changes.

For what it is worth, I use to dread my life. Now I love it! The difference is me, not others. When you change on the inside, the outer world reflects it.

© 2013. All rights reserved worldwide.

Pumped?

Are you excited about your work? Do you wake-up every morning and say, “Yeah, I get to go to work”? Or do you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock?

It all begins with you. If you are worn out, exhausted and depleted, doubtful you can ignite the energy and greatness in others. Positive uplifting energy makes a huge impact on your ability to get things done through people. People can sense your attitude by your facial expression and body language.

Get pumped. Ignite the spark in others with your flame of passion.

© 2013. All rights reserved worldwide.